Why men cheat with Escorts?

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Talk about sex work for long enough, and the topic of cheating spouses invariably arises. There is always tales of all sorts of relationship problems: wives who travel frequently, girlfriends who live abroad, women who work ‘too much’ or, for some reason or another, have lost the drive or desire to be intimate with their partners.

Someone men will tell you stories of their own search for intimacy after their partner became unwell or passed away. Some are just not physically attracted to their partner anymore and want to try something new.

While Escorts are often blamed for luring men away from their happy homes and marriages, it’s difficult to imagine a situation in which an individual service provider can be held responsible for the clients who approach them. Escorts do not, contrary to popular belief, contact innocent husbands and entice them to stray.

A man who decides to spend some time with an Escort is choosing to do so of his own free will; and I would warrant a bet that most have probably thought about doing it for some time before taking the plunge.

Why do men step outside a marriage for a quick thrill?

The services an Escort offers goes far beyond the sexual. Yes, granted the majority of bookings do include some form of sexual activity— however, they also focus on conversation, intimacy and confessions. Some men do see escorts just to chat, or cuddle. Many see escorts for sex, but stick around afterwards to talk about the stresses of their job, or their problems at home. For some men, the pillow-talk they have with a escort is the only time they allow themselves to talk about their feelings and worries: perhaps knowing that they will likely never see them again helps them truly let down their guard.

A lot of men, particularly older men are brought up to be tough and stoic, never sharing their fears or asking for help with their problems for fear of being seen as weak and unmanly. Raised to be the breadwinners of the household, men are rarely given permission by society or by themselves to be emotional or sensitive. Most men are terrified to go in for a routine prostate exam, let alone go home to tell their wives that they were feeling depressed, weren’t coping with the demands of work, or were struggling with family issues. Perhaps by turning to the one thing they’ve always had societal approval to seek — sex — they’re making a space for themselves to feel comfortable and heard.

Of course, it’s idealistic to think that every married man who visits a parlour is seeking emotional connection. Some do it simply because they’re horny. Some, because they’re bored. Peer pressure occasionally plays a role: some will even be pressured into seeing an escort the night before their wedding!

Why do men see Escorts? 

When picturing the kinds of men who frequent Escorts and pay for their services, certain images come to mind. There is the older, businessman in a suit, away on business, calling an escort to his hotel room while his wife is at home with the kids. Or an unattractive, nervous young man, going to a escorts to lose his virginity. Or a lonely, sad man who can’t find a woman to sleep with him without handing over large amounts of cash.

But in truth, there are a number of different kinds of men who see escorts, and for all kinds of reasons.

To simply paint all men who pay for sex with the same brush is not only ignoring the reality of the sex industry and the people who utilise it, but also works to keep the shame and taboo associated with sex workers in place.

These are some of the reasons why men see Escorts:

They know what they are getting

A lot of men go out to get laid. They spend money on clothes, a cab, pay for dinners and drinks. All these cost add up and after all of that they might not end up where they wanted. So some men opt for a different route. They rather spend a little bit more money, save themselves the time and know exactly what they are going to get.

They travel a lot 

Some men are constantly on the move and don’t have the time to build relationships. They are traveling around the world for work and they don’t have the time required to sit down and get to know someone or date. So the most convenient thing for them that solves all their needs is seeing an escort. They provide them with the company, they get them off and leave. This simplifies things and there is no guilt involved of not spending enough time with a partner etc.

The freedom that comes with an escort that’s not always necessary with a partner 

Some men frequent escorts even when they are happily married. There is a certain freedom that comes with an escort that does not come with a partner. When you are seeing an escort you can be as free with you fantasies as you want. You won’t have to worry about what she thinks of you and you won’t worry about freaking her out. Whereas with your partner, there are certain things you know they won’t ever do or consider. Instead of making a big deal about it or having frustrations they go see an escorts to fulfil those fantasies.

A lot of men don’t consider seeing a sex worker as cheating. They see it as a commodity, like renting a car. It’s not something they are committing to or are having emotional attachment to. They just use a service and get back to their normal lives. They don’t feel like it’s harming anyone.

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